Whoa - What WAS That??

Remember about a week ago when I said I didn't know how to move on??  Yeah, that must have been some bad chinese food or something.  Soooo have moved on... and never going back.  Homewrecker - you can have his scummy, skinny, cheating a$$.  Thanks again for stopping by though!  Made my life :)

(Oh, and the other guy??  Just saving him for later ;))

You, and You, and You

To individuals who shall remain nameless but who know exactly who they are... or should...

You:  ROT!!!!!
You:  I'm praying for Karma for you... and you deserve all that's coming to you

and

You:  It's hard, but I need you to keep doing what you're (not) doing for a while longer... I'll be in touch... promise :)

What the..?!?!

CRAP!!!
argh...
ok....
pity sake, can someone please tell me how the hell to just move on?????!!!!!
I really don't know how....
I keep trying and trying and... damn it....
I'm not the one.  I know I'm not the one.  Why won't my heart just let go already??
And what's really messed up is that it's not just one... it's two...
I know... you don't even have to tell me... I know....

Contradictions

I'm smart... and nieve.
I'm sweet... and seductive.
I'm nice... and dream of revenge.
I'm shy... and bold.
I'm immovable... and a softie.
I'm religious... and rebelious.
I'm social... and need space.
I'm beautiful... and invisable.

Warning: Yeah, I'm Venting... You Would Too

ARGH!!!
Why do I still have to deal with the lame a$$ doochbag and his bottomfeeder homewrecker???  They are both so UGLY and creepy and sickening and scuzzy!  Both are losers that are too insecure to be alone with their consciouses.
When are they going to figure it out????
He's totally a step up for her, even though he's pretty poor and she'll be supporting him for a looong while.  And she's completely a step down for him - which is comforting for his weak sauce ego.  Of course he'd trade in the woman who's expectations he was never going to meet, who knows all of his MANY disgusting, dirty secrets, who encouraged him to be better than he was.  He's lazy.  He wants someone who's too dumb to figure that out, and who's old and been with a ton of other people, none of which wanted to keep her long term.  That's his style.  Someone he doesn't have to stretch for, hell I'm sure she's thrilled he's not even working at all right now.  He's also emotionally abusive and a cheater - oh wait - they both are cowards like that, never mind.  I'm sure they make their mothers proud.
Oh well, at least they can smoke up and have dirty sex in the back of his borrowed mini van.  Now there's a happily ever after if I ever heard one. 

My Place

I wish I was standing on my hill, wind in my hair, blowing my troubles from my mind and heart.  Breathing in the spring air and watching the leaves begining to burst on their branches.  Watching the river, always constant and flowing, giving life, renewing.  Face tilted up, eyes closed against the sunlight, enjoying the long awaited warmth.  And smiling softly to myself as I feel the peace seep in.
I can't let life get too busy that I don't take time for this.  I need it.  I crave it.  This week...

Superpowers

My son asked me while ago if I could have any superpower, what would I chose?
I thought about it and I know without a doubt I would love to turn myself invisable on a whim.
Somedays I wish I was, just to hide away from everyone and everything.
Somedays I'd use it to sneak up on people and see what they say and do when they think no one is watching. 
Somedays I'd use it just to prank people and get a laugh.
I don't get the feeling often, but once in a while I feel like I'm invisable already.  Everyone I know has had the feeling at least once.  You know the one... the one where you wonder 'If something happened to me, who would care?  Who would notice?  What difference do I make in anyone's life?'
Invisable.
To be seen.
I can't decide.