Today he turns 40.
I didn't know what to do to mark the occasion so I sent the kids with some money to go shopping for a special gift for him. I also sent him an email. Nothing big or fancy, just an 'I'm thinking about you today and hope you have a great day" kinda thing.
Maybe it's because I'm already feeling a little under the weather anyways, but I got kinda emotional. I mean, we've celebrated this day together for the last 13 years and it's kinda hard not to feel like this is his special day and he doesn't want me there anymore.
Waa, waa. I know. I'm sucking it up now, haha. It's all good and really I'm fine. I just miss him today I guess and I still really care about him, whether he cares back or not.
It's hard not to think about last year camping in Idaho, candles in a bunch of King Dons. Or the year before, same treat but in the Redwoods, all of us, camping together as a family celebrating this man who is so special to us.
I very much doubt he reads this but whatever. Happy Birthday Trev. I really do wish you all the best.
Alison
1 comment:
the firsts are always tough. But a biggie like the 40th is tough too. Chris' 30th was a few month post-separation, so I kinda understand where you are.
What do you do? Say? Send? Acknowledge?
Point is, I think it'll get easier as the years go by. At least, that's what I'm banking on-- the wierdness of holidays and birthdays and Father's Day still lingers for me.
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