Friday, February 12, 2010

It Feels Like Goodbye

I'm proud of you :)  You're doing the right thing and I support you in your decision.  And I hope that you're happier and more at peace within yourself too.
That's not to say that I don't miss you a lot.  I'm already missing the little moments, and I know that when the big events of my life that are coming up finally arrive, I will miss not being able to share my happiness with you.
Although I may never fully know what or who I was to you, this is what you meant to me:
I still count you as one on my closest friends, and I will never be able to look back on these life changing moments and not be able to think of you as well.  Your encouragement and belief in me, seeing what I could not, and helping me realize that even though someone thought I wasn't worth the energy and the time, someone else will. 
I suppose I could look back and think that maybe I'm still not, after all, you 'left' too. 
But I don't. 
That's how I know. 
That's how I know that I'm different.  Stronger than before.  Because of your tireless efforts in building me back up, I walk differently (haha, but still the same), I carry myself differently.  You helped me believe in me, as well as helped me to heal my heart.  And so I thank you forever.
Don't forget, I think you're amazing :)  I wish you love and happiness always, and will never forget you.  I really hope that one day our paths will cross again, and I will look forward to catching up over a cup of cider :) 
Hugs to you cutie boy...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

To Paula

Kids are not stupid.  Especially not my kids.  And I'm not just saying that because I'm their Mom.  You know, the woman who is IRREPLACABLE in their lives.
I have so many questions for you, none of which I want an answer to be cause really, you disgust me to NO END.  But I do wonder what you tell yourself as you are sculking in to a married man's life.  A man with kids.  And then I wonder just how long you think you can pretend to care about those kids now when you obviously didn't when you had a major part in breaking up THEIR family.  I'm sure that you can put on a pretty good act, diguising your inner ugliness with puppies and board games, but a girl like you?  It's not going to last long before they see right through you.
And just in case you misunderstand me, I really don't care that you are with him.  In fact I'm glad.  Makes him "happier" along with the rest of the world because scum should always be with scum.  Saves the nice decent human beings from both your toxicity.  Really, you guys are made for each other.  Plus it will be fun to watch and see who cheats on who first, along with how many times you are together/not together.  And just as a side note, did you REALLY think that you were the first person he cheated with?  Or the second?  Or the third??  Yeah - have fun with that...
I guess in the end I should thank you though.  Thank you for tempting my spineless husband.  I have NEVER been happier.