Leave a Message

Here's the thing.
I have no idea if you read this, it really doesn't matter to me.  It really doesn't.
I'm not speaking to you.  One day maybe.  But not now.
I don't expect you to understand or respect that.  Again, that doesn't really matter to me.
You have broken every promise ever made to me.
You have treated me with the least amount of respect available to you for too many years.
You're words means nothing to me.
Therefore I choose not to hear them any longer.
I'm not the girl you knew anymore.
And the girl I am now is choosing not to let you in.
Goodbye.

Good Morning

When I dream of you, I wake up smiling.  Everytime.

Yeah, No... I'm Good

I love the show Survivor.  Watch it all the time.  And I always think to myself how, while it sucks to get voted off the island by people you thought you could trust, how glad they must be for a real bed, a toothbrush, and a hot shower to finally get the gunge off, and move on with your life.
I was voted off the island.
And trust me that dropping his last name feels just as wonderful as taking off the dirty, disgusting clothes that those contestants wear for days on end.
Ahhhh....
Finally.
Back to the real me.

Still

So, I'm back.
I thought or was maybe hoping somewhere inside that when I got back things would be different.  I'd be this changed person or that I'd understand myself better or even just look at myself differently in the mirror.
But I don't.
It's all the same.
I'm still me, whoever that is.
And I'm back to the same problems I left behind.
Still not divorced.
Still no sale on my house.
My kids still aren't home.
Up to my eyeballs in debt.
Mooching off my folks.
And sleeping alone.

I need to get out of the house today.