Another Ah Ha... Love Those

So I did the little quiz, do-it-yourself test as to "Why your with the one you're with" as posted on my other blog.
I've decided that I want to record my findings here. Not all, but some.
Growing up as the oldest of 5 children, in a very religious household, there were a lot of expectations placed on me as a child. Some real, some perceived.
Eventually, without getting into the details too much, at 18 I rebelled. I was done with the expectations, the living to please others, trying to be what others told me I should be. I had never felt so free.
A few years later I married, children quickly followed, and I was doing my best to be the perfect little do-good wife and mother, one who kept my mouth shut to all of the indiscretions, heartache, all the while trying (and largely failing) to live up to all of the expectations placed upon me by in-laws who were kept in the dark about their son.
After 11 years, I had to tap out.
Since he moved out, and I face a life where I get to decide what my future looks like without being attached to someone who I don't feel safe with, I am again reveling in the same feeling of freedom.
So what have I learned about myself and what I need so that the past has less of a chance of repeating itself?
IF I choose to ever get into a long term relationship again, I need to feel free. Free to make my own choices and be myself. Accepted for who I am.
I have gained strength, confidence, and I know who I am better than I ever have before. I will want someone who is comfortable, and can handle that.
Not rocket science, but add that to the rest of the long list of 'must have's' and 'can not have's' and suddenly finding that ideal man seems pretty unlikely.
But even if 'he' never shows up or doesn't even exist, at least one of my most basic needs is still being fulfilled:
Freedom to just be me.